Moonstruck Icicles
by Amyblue-chan
Summary: Can you imagine being lonely all of your life? She was. Yet... she found love. Then, just as it had come, it left. Overcome by heartbreak, despair... she seeks a way to regain her happiness, and the man she loved and lost.
1. Prologue

Hi hi minna! Amyblue-chan's here AGAIN! *giggles* It's been SO long! Anyway, here's  
a new one ^^. I really hope you like it! It took me a bit to actually CONTINUE it  
once I had started, but *sweatdrops* I guess it didn't come out too badly in the  
end.  
  
Major, MAJOR thanks and hugs go out to all of the Wives (You guys ROCK!!); to  
Hermanito, for being there (Thankies!) and to all those other wonderful people  
who continue to brigthen up my life each day. *huggles minna* What would I do   
without you guys?  
  
Now, BEFORE I bore you *giggles* I'd like to dedicate this story to Lexi. She has   
listened to me ENDLESS times, without complaint and has shown me how great a friend  
can truely be. *hugs Lexi* Thank you, hon. I hope you like it!  
  
*****************  
  
Standard Disclaimer applies  
  
*****************  
  
Enjoy!  
  
~Amy-chan  
  
  
  
  
  
"Moonstruck Icicles"  
  
Prologue  
  
By: Amyblue-chan  
Rated: PG  
E-mail: monicam_1@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
  
She was always alone. It wasn't that she didn't want to let anybody in,  
because if there was something she wanted, it was love. But she couldn't.  
  
She was scared, not only of opening up, but of getting hurt.  
  
She grew up with a lonely soul. The people that surrounded her were barely  
those that she could call friends. And it hurt her. Deeply. What else could she  
want more than to share her hopes, her dreams, her fears? To see understanding  
in a person's eyes, and not pity? To give, and in return, to receive?  
  
It was those little things that were reflected in those deep, melancholic   
eyes. The same ones she cursed, because they showed her weakness.  
  
One day, though, she came to a new place. Expecting the same as all the other's  
she had been to, she waited for the pang of hopelesness that always came with each  
rejection, with each cruel stare.   
  
But it never came.  
  
She was greeted with warm smiles instead. For once, that empty space in her soul  
that had always belonged to friendship filled up. She began smiling more often, and   
it was that innocent smile that captured the heart of a stranger.  
  
A stranger, that like her, was afraid as well. Afraid of the warmth, always   
welcoming the lonely cold. Their eyes met, and two lives changed forever.  
  
Her wish came true. She had found her heart's most treaured desire.   
  
But something happened, and her heart was broken. So our story begins...   
She would never be the same again. Now that she had learned to love, how could she?  
  
It was a tear that came, born in the very depths of her soul. A tear that gleamed   
like a diamond. Bathed in silvery light, it trickled slowly down her rosy cheek.   
  
Resembling a moonstruck icicle, it soon melted; taking with it the most precious   
of gifts.   
  
Happiness; but happiness from love.  
  



	2. Chapter 1

Here's Chapter 1. It's a bit of a sad story, though I think you'll like it.  
  
Remember, e-mail is GOOD! *giggles*  
  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
"Moonstruck Icicles"  
  
Chapter 1  
  
By: Amyblue-chan  
Rated: PG  
E-mail: monicam_1@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
  
  
Sad blue eyes stared back at her. She tried to smile but with no  
avail. The same sad eyes looked at her. Since when had she become so   
lonely again?   
'Since he... he...' She could not complete the thought. It hurt  
too much and tears threatened to fall.  
  
She clearly remembered a time in her life when happiness was all   
she felt. Now, that time seemed so long ago. So much had happened since   
then. There had been a sparkle in those same eyes that now seemed lifeless.  
Her face had been radiant, with a smile brighter than the sun, rosy lips   
and a pink glow on her cheeks. Now, as she looked at herself in her   
bedroom mirror, no traces of that happy girl remained in her soul.  
  
She closed her eyes, hoping that when they opened, a bit of that   
girl still showed. But no. Instead, she met the reflection of a girl  
with sorrow marring her beautiful features. She felt void, her heart  
completely lacking the love and companionship she so much needed and  
desired. She hadn't always been like this. A month ago...  
  
Thinking about him once again, she turned abruptly so her back was   
to the mirror and roughly wiped a tear from her face. But it was no use.   
They had already begun to fall, shaking her body with sobs. In a last   
attempt to stay standing up, she failed and dropped to her knees.  
'No, not again. No more tears. What did I do to deserve this suffering?  
I'm supposed to be over him for goodness sakes!'  
'That's right, you should be.' Her mind bit back. 'Look at yourself,   
all broken down and crying for him. Have you already forgotten what he   
did to you? Isn't that reason enough? Or has he already found forgiveness   
in your heart?'  
'It should be reason enough, but yet, to me it is not. I know I   
should be hating him with every ounce of my being. What he did was cruel,   
and it still continues to break my heart; but I cannot bring myself to do   
it. I cannot hate him. I love him, and I believe that deep down he still   
continues to love me too.'  
'Then why do you cry?'  
'Because I miss him terribly. The loneliness in my heart was only   
filled when he was near. My soul longs for his kisses, his embrace. Everything.'   
She responded solemnly to her mind. It did not reply. Her mind had no argument   
left, for she knew her heart had won the battle.  
  
Her thoughts slowly drifted to her friends. They had tried to help   
her, but with no avail. She could only overcome this pain if she had the   
strength, and only God knew how much she needed it. A sad smile flashed briefly   
on her features, before completely disappearing. How she loved her friends...   
They had tried everything.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It had been a nice spring day. The was at the temple studying   
for a test. Somehow though, their topic of conversation had drifted from Ions   
and their bonds to Ami's sadness.  
  
"Ami, are you sure you're ok? You've been in your own world for quite a while  
now. That's not very much like you." Minako began.   
  
"Yeah, Ami-chan. Minako's right. You're beginning to act like Usagi." A   
small giggle seemed to make Usagi stir in her nap.   
  
"I heard that, Mako-chan!" She seemed to say before completely returning  
to her dreamworld.   
  
"Sorry, Usagi." She replied, trying her best not to laugh.   
  
"Minna, I'm alright. Really. I was just... thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Or whom?" Minako added.  
  
"Nobody!" But the blush slowly creeping to her cheeks betrayed her.   
  
"Oh no? Then why do I get the feeling that you're keeping something from us?" Rei   
said. The book she was reading now lay momentarily forgotten on her lap.  
  
"Minna..."  
  
"It's because you are, aren't you?"  
  
"I-I'm sorry. It... hasn't been easy to get Zach out of my mind."  
  
"Ami, it's ok. Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
The blue-haired genius shook her head. Her wound was still fresh. There was   
no way she could possibly begin to explain why she felt this way; at least not   
without completely breaking down and letting go of the grief that was slowly eating   
her heart up.  
  
"Alright. We won't push you."  
  
A small smile made it's way to her usually serious face. "Thank you."   
  
"Will you at least promise us something?"  
  
A small nod from her urged Rei to begin.   
  
"I, Ami Mizuno... go on, repeat after me." Rei said, while making her lift her   
right hand from her books.   
  
Obediently, Ami began. "I, Ami Mizuno,"  
  
"... Promise to not cry any longer for Zach and be the happy girl I once was."  
  
She dropped her hand from where it had been held up and a sad expression   
overcame her eyes. With her head dropped, she mustered all the courage she could   
possibly gain and spoke truthfully, "Guys, please don't. You all know I can't do   
that. Until I heal, I feel my tears will never be enough. Please understand." Her   
words carried such pain and sorrow it was almost impossible not to feel it.   
  
Rei took both of her hands and covered them with her own. A gentle squeeze   
reached Ami's senses and she looked up. Understanding was on every face of her   
friends. Rei spoke for all of them in a voice that reassured her, but did not   
succeed in calming her down.  
  
"We understand, Ami, completely. But it hurts us to see you so sad and broken.  
Stop suffering, please. What good will it do to keep on the way you are? You're   
only causing damage to yourself. Try to forget him." A gasp escaped her lips as   
she heard Rei speak that last sentence. "But... but..."  
  
"I'm not saying right now. Gradually. Begin to move on, and continue your life  
the way it was before he came into the picture. You cannot let the betrayal of one   
guy ruin the beautiful dreams you have inside. Or your hopes."  
  
"R-Rei, how can you say that?"  
  
"Ami, stop trying to hide the truth. We've seen the way you two glance at   
eachother. Both of your faces go completely hard and stoic. The tension in the air is  
almost palpable. We know you've both been hurt, but is the love gone?"  
There was a pause before Ami took a deep breath. "No," she simply replied.  
  
"Then what happened?" Four faces looked at her curiously.  
  
Ami sighed. "I turned him down when he begged for my forgiveness that afternoon.   
I was angry. My mind just wouldn't accept any reason. It was like the wall that had   
been there before I had allowed my heart to open up to somebody was as strong and firm  
as ever. I refused to hear any explanation as of why he had done what he did. After   
several tries, he left. I know he still loves me too. The anger that later became hurt  
is still in his eyes. It's unbearable. I hurt him, the same way he had hurt me. And to   
this day, I still blame myself." Tears began to overflow her eyes as the scene replayed   
itself on her mind once again.   
  
Sad looks were exchanged throughout the room. How on Earth were they ever going to  
return the happiness to their friend? A sigh escaped each and every mouth of the Senshi.  
They had not a clue.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Wiping her tears once more, she slowly turned around to meet her reflection   
again. A sigh reached her lips, the faint flicker of hope making its way to her   
heart. Maybe not all was lost. Perhaps her friends were right. Moving on did  
seem like the right thing to do. She could not dwell on what could have been and   
was not for the rest of her life. She had dreams to fulfill, a future to look  
forward to. But then, why did her heart protest so strongly at the thought of moving  
on? At a future without him?   
  
In her mind, she knew what her decision had to be. But she could not let go.   
Letting go would be like letting go of a part of her heart. And she had no desire   
of doing so. Not this soon, or ever. And especially not when there was a chance at   
regaining her happiness.   
  
The ensuing battle between her heart and her mind was reflected clearly in her   
sapphire eyes. For a moment, all time stood still. The only thing that mattered  
was the outcome of such a decisive battle.   
  
  



	3. Chapter 2

*laughs* Chapter 2 is out! I'm SO sorry it took so long. I've actually had it sitting  
here on my hard drive since about the middle of July. *sweatdrops* I was enjoying my   
trip, ok?!  
Major thankies to Lexi for editing and sending this story in for me. *tackles*  
YOU ROCK, GIRL!  
  
Um... nothing else to say. Additional AN's and Thank You's are the bottom.  
Enjoy!  
  
  
"Moonstruck Icicles"  
  
Chapter 2  
  
By: Amyblue-chan  
Rated: PG  
E-mail: monicam_1@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
  
Sapphire eyes seeked emerald ones in the impossibly large room.   
  
She had no reason of doing so... yet her heart was beating hard in  
her chest, a mix of dread and excitement flooding through her.   
  
Could she bear whatever she saw? Would the efforts to prove her mind  
wrong be naught?  
  
She took in her surroundings slowly, unaware of the glances directed   
at her. It was unusual to find herself in such a peculiar situation.  
  
'And in such an outfit.' Her mind completed for her, a blush creeping to  
her cheeks.  
  
Some faces were vaguely familiar; others, ones she had never seen   
before. The room was dark and barren of every type of furniture, all signs of   
the usual, comfortable family room vanished. A small breeze flew in from the   
opened balconies, cooling down the heated air.  
  
Wherever she looked, bodies were in motion. Some moved to the latest dance  
track, fresh from Europe's clubs. Then, as her eyes adjusted to the   
multi-colored lights springing from the ceiling, she saw others locked in  
passionate embraces; lost in their own worlds to such a point that the noise  
around them could've been the faint flutter of butterfly wings. Or...  
  
'Of tears dropping.' She thought bitterly to herself.   
  
There he was.   
  
Dancing ever so slowly that any subtle movement was a dagger to  
Ami's heart. Those strong arms that had once protected her were wrapped  
around a slim, petite brunette. He looked up, as if having felt her.  
  
Two gazes met right then. One, a bright blue. The other, a deep green.  
  
Anger. Betrayal. Confusion. Surprise. Jealousy. Sorrow. Love.   
  
They all flashed in her eyes before she looked away and fled the room.  
  
Had she waited one more second, she would've seen the cloud of grief that came   
over his eyes; seen the same surprise and confusion reflected in his own green orbs;   
seen him look up and try to call her name; seen him in his own battle of pride, hurt   
and love; seen him gently push away the brunette; heard the sigh that left his   
lips when she fled. Finally, she would have seen him desperately weaving through  
the crowds of people, his only goal to follow her.  
  
The Fates didn't give her that second. They knew it was what she desired the most,   
yet they took it away from her. There was something else... Something that both  
of them would need to experience.   
  
Instead, she was consumed with a new wave of grief, and the bitter knowledge that  
her mind had been right all along. He had found someone else. He had moved on.  
  
He was happy... And she was still helplessly hanging on to something that had  
ceased to exist in the blink of an eye.   
  
Or so it seemed.  
  
Cursing herself for being foolish, yet still reluctant to accept what she had just seen,  
she ran. It didn't matter where she went, or how she got there. She needed to get away.  
  
To escape. From everything and anything.   
  
But her thoughts kept drifting back to the scene she had just witnessed; and to her own  
battle, in her room, over an hour ago.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Was it possible?  
  
Could her mind really be deciding something that in her heart felt   
so right? Were reason and logic more powerful than love? Could they be?  
She sighed again as her mind recalled time after time when he had not   
been there for her, when she had cried over him, when it seemed all   
was lost.  
  
But it wasn't. Not if she looked deep down.  
  
'What about when he found someone else?' Her mind seemed to whisper. It   
echoed endlessly, a cruel reminder fit to collapse the barriers around her heart.  
  
Covering her ears to stop the painful words, she shook her head violently  
and yelled into her mind that it was wrong, that it couldn't be. It could  
never be. She kept on, trying to drown the accusations with her own denial.  
  
It was no use.  
  
'You know it's true. You saw them, with your own eyes. Admit it, why don't you?  
Is he really worth it? So much that every night it pities me to see  
you in such a state?'  
  
'How can you do this to me?' She bit back, angrily.  
  
'How can you do this to yourself?' It answered, the calm contrasting with the  
bubbling anger inside Ami.  
  
'You know I love him. How can you be so selfish?'   
  
'How can you blame me when all I'm trying to do is protect you from what the  
heart overlooks at a moment like this?'  
  
'I-I...' She closed her eyes and sighed, silently cursing her mind for always  
seeming to be right; yet ignoring its words at the same time.  
  
She knew what her mind was trying to do. It was trying to confuse her,  
make her see the many things that were wrong. It failed, however, in  
making sure her decision was what it wanted to be. Instead, it made her   
heart beat faster, her cheeks flush with color at a memory... and then   
at the possibilty of having him wrap his arms around her again, of his  
lips touching hers in the softest of kisses...   
  
She smiled. It was the only genuine smile she had had for weeks,  
breaking through hundreds of fake ones.  
  
She had won. Again. She blocked out her mind, just as she had for the last few months.  
If being cold and reasonble had prevented her so many times in the past from being  
happy, what good would it be to continue like that now? How could her mind know what was  
right? Or wrong, if the issue concerned matters way beyond its knowledge?  
  
Listening to her heart, and finding warmth in doing so, she knew what she had to do...   
  
What she wanted to do.   
  
Reason and logic could be useful for a great many things, but not when one's   
happiness was at stake. Not when they concerned matters of the heart.  
  
Looking up to meet her reflection in the mirror once again, her eyes showed the   
determination that was slowly creeping to her heart, yet she sought, almost desperately,  
for courage.   
  
It was not there.   
  
Was she weak? Perhaps, but she would overcome it. She needed to. Taking a deep   
breath to calm her rapidly beating heart and to gather up the little strength she   
still had left; she dabbed on some raspberry lip gloss, dried the remaining path of   
her tears, combed her hair and changed her clothes. She gave her mirror a half   
smile as she grabbed her keys and headed out the door.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And it had been with that same resolution that Mizuno Ami left her house late one   
Saturday night, only to have wished she never had.  
  
  
~*~  
  
TBC...  
  
Well? Liked it? Hated it? Any comments or suggestions are welcome (even flames *giggles)  
at monicam_1@yahoo.com. I really won't make any promises about Chapter 3... It'll be out  
when it's out. Or, in other words, when I have a spare day and dedicate it to the story.  
  
A BIG thank you to those who wrote about Chapter 1. I really appreciate it!   
  
~Amy  
  
  
****Never say never and don't wait forever.****  
  
-Evan and Jaron  
  



End file.
